Bitterness

[leria]

I start my sophomore year of college on the 26th of this month. I'm not really all that nervous, I guess I just feel a bit sad. I didn't have the best freshman year. I tried to make friends, but I kind of failed at that. Emphasis on kind of! I had a group of friends that I made miraculously.

I'm kind of bored so I guess I can tell the story.

The tale stems all the way back to October of my senior year of high school. Damaris invited me and Game to go trick or treating together, but I couldn't make it because I was too busy being depressed about my all college applications, but Gama went (he always goes to anything he's invited to even though half the time he's always complain to me about how he wants to go home).

The next day at school Gama told me that Damaris invited two new friends to go trick or treating with them, Maya and Angel. I asked Gama if it was awkward since he hates talking to new people, he said not really because Damaris spent the whole time flirting with Angel so he had to make an effort to talk to Maya, and turns out they had a lot in common. Anyways, fast forward to January, right after me and Damaris' birthdays, and she tells me that she's dating Angel. No big deal, I thought. From what she told me, he seemed like a nice guy, just not all that attractive.

Fast forward to freshmen year of college, Damaris invited me to a Halloween party at her apartment in San Antonio (she, Gama, and another friend go to college there). That was where I first met Angel. He was drunk and high, but overall that didn't really phase me, I was also pretty drunk myself. But when I was there he introduced me to two of his best friends, Judy and Allen (boyfriend and girlfriend). Coincidentally all three of us went to the same university! And slowly but surely we got pretty close. We hung out a couple of times and it was so much fun. I spent months thinking that I was going to never make new friends in college (that weren't from high school), but I finally had some friends.

Around the same time, I was slowly becoming friends with a girl named Mia, I met her in a film class. I honestly felt the most connected to Mia. It almost felt like we were the same person, I wish we could have stayed friends.

One day, Mia was telling me about how even though Halloween is over she still wanted to go to a haunted house, and I was telling her how I would totally go with her.

Here comes my first mistake. Inviting Judy and Allen. We all had a fun time, Angel and Damaris even went, but if only I knew.

I don't want to make this entry too long so I'll just summarize the rest.

Judy asks me to hang out constantly and sometimes I say no other times I say yes, I was really busy with school work most of the time.

Damaris throws a birthday party in San Antonio and Judy/Allen give me, Mia and Angel a ride. (Mia tags along cause we wanted to include her). Terrible trip by the way it was a whole mess.

I sense some tension between Damaris and Angle at the party.

Judy/Allen, Mia and Angel slowly start not inviting me to places. I see a bunch of post of them hanging out on Instagram and I never confront them about it.

Damaris breaks up with Angel. This was basically the breaking point of my group.

Damaris is my best friend so I'll always take her side, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to be friends anymore. Damaris even told me she didn't really care if I stayed friends with them (even tho she kind of didn't really like Judy) she even encouraged me to keep the friendship with them.

But I guess they all just decided that I wasn't going to be their friend anymore, and I no longer communicate with any of them.

It's so sad and disappointing when you've finally found a group of friends and they just decide they no longer like you.

I'll be fine, I guess. New school semester, new me.