Aug. 15th, 2024

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Today Damaris and I went over to Gama's house to help clean up his room. I arrived first, and let's just say that the room was a straight up mess.

Game's room is kind of small, and the room's area was mostly taken up by his bed. By that I mean that Gama thought it was a great idea to place his bed in the middle of the room. Yes, that means that no sides of the bed were touching the wall. He defended this room arrangement because the cold air from his in-unit AC would be able to reach him "better".

I will say, we got done cleaning fairly quickly. That doesn't mean we left the room clean, we just left it clean enough for him.

When Damaris got there, she surprised me with a friendship bracelet! It's the cutest thing ever. It has white and blue beads, the white ones are shaped like stars, and she spelled out 'for lifer' on it. Why? Because we're for-lifers!!! Love her so much.

She also made us a Pinterest board so that we can envision our birthday celebration. So far we're thinking of going out to karaoke and hitting up this alt club in her area. There rest is to be decided, but I'm already so excited.

I was honestly super relieved to hear that she also felt kind of sad when Paula mentioned that she wasn't going to plan my birthday, which meant that she wasn't planning her birthday either. We both have this thing where we want to feel like we're, for lack of a better word, special. They way she put was like,"Zadea and Itzel got to feel surprised by their birthdays, and it kind of just feels like we're just forgotten and pushed to the side."

I told her that we don't need a surprise party because we're going to have a fun time together.

Damaris also mentioned that she was originally planning on just planning out my birthday, and making a surprise party for me, but she still felt kind of left out since our birthdays are a day a part. I'm glad she didn't surprise me, I kind of like having to plan out our birthdays together, but I do appreciate and love her for the sentiment.

We also talked about the whole incident from Zadea's party. Where Paula left in the morning, without really telling anyone to go hang out with Adrian. "You know that if any of us were to do that, we would be cut off with a quickness." I said, and she agreed with me. Oh well, not really anything we can do now.

Paula's been messaging in the group chat, planning out our next outing to Mala, and everyone agreed to go on the 31st of this month, but I'm not entirely sure I can go.

I asked my dad today if I can go out tomorrow with Damaris, Gama, and Mora he said yes but he also told me off because the morning after the sleepover I was supposed to call him early in the morning to come and pick me up. I ended up calling my mom and telling her that I was going to go eat breakfast with my friends instead. It's kind of weird that he's bringing it up now, but hopefully I can get on his good side before our next sleepover. Which is in nearly two weeks. Here's to hoping again, but I guess he can't be too mad because he still agreed to let me go out tomorrow. We'll see.

It's almost time to go back to school, and I'm weirdly excited. I think it's because of my new job as a mentor. I feel like it's the perfect opportunity to make friends with the other mentors. Since last year I didn't do all that well in the friends department as recounted in a privies entry.

But I also have a bad habit of romanticizing the worst parts of my life. I'm pretty sure that's a bad thing. What I mean by this is that I'm starting to miss being a sad loner on campus, and that was no fun last year. Another example is associated with the song Bad Habit by Steve Lacy. Every time I heat that song, whether it be in public or shuffled onto my Spotify playlist, I start to reminisce about my first heartbreak, which was around the time the song was released. I remember coming home every day after school, and not coming out from my room. I also remember going into the restroom at school just to ball my eyes out, and yes I would be in class with red, puffy eyes. Weird, I don't know why I miss it. Maybe I got some unresolved psychological problems.

Anyways, I better get to working on Damaris' crochet earring holder. I promised her one like last month, and I want to get it done by tomorrow.

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leria

February 2025

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