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leriaIt's my birthday tomorrow and I feel happy one second and then I feel sad the next.
I think it's because I have this fear that everyone likes my best friend more than they like me. Genuinely, I've had to come to terms with this feeling.
Her birthday is a day before mines, and it feels like everyone just loves her sooo much.
To be honest, I've been thinking about falling off the face of the earth (in terms of ghosting all my high school friends). But they're the only friends I have, so I'll be left all alone. Which won't actually be that much of a difference because they all go to the same university, I'm the only one that decided to stay home for college.
Maybe I'm just insecure, but I knew something was amiss when freshmen year of college, when her and my friends, who she didn't know because we went to different high schools, decided to start hanging out because now they all went to the same college.
Once, Paula said,"Damaris is like another version of you" That made me really uneasy, because if she thinks that then obviously she's the more interesting version of me.
What maybe really nervous tomorrow, despite the fact that it's such a stupid thing to worry about, is how many birthday wishes I'm going to get. If any at all, because I'm just not as special as her.
I want to say that I don't blame Damaris for this, in fact I really love her. She's my best friend for a reason, but I just wish people liked me as much as they liked her. But sadly, I'm just a really bland person.
Anyways, happy early birthday to me.
I think it's because I have this fear that everyone likes my best friend more than they like me. Genuinely, I've had to come to terms with this feeling.
Her birthday is a day before mines, and it feels like everyone just loves her sooo much.
To be honest, I've been thinking about falling off the face of the earth (in terms of ghosting all my high school friends). But they're the only friends I have, so I'll be left all alone. Which won't actually be that much of a difference because they all go to the same university, I'm the only one that decided to stay home for college.
Maybe I'm just insecure, but I knew something was amiss when freshmen year of college, when her and my friends, who she didn't know because we went to different high schools, decided to start hanging out because now they all went to the same college.
Once, Paula said,"Damaris is like another version of you" That made me really uneasy, because if she thinks that then obviously she's the more interesting version of me.
What maybe really nervous tomorrow, despite the fact that it's such a stupid thing to worry about, is how many birthday wishes I'm going to get. If any at all, because I'm just not as special as her.
I want to say that I don't blame Damaris for this, in fact I really love her. She's my best friend for a reason, but I just wish people liked me as much as they liked her. But sadly, I'm just a really bland person.
Anyways, happy early birthday to me.
